Have the Last Word

If we looked at our lives in sections, there would be – youth, adult and senior. They correspond to other phases in our life, school, work and retirement. So, when it comes time to leave the work world and enter a new phase of our lives, you’d think there would be lots to say?

For many people, the retirement speech is the hardest thing they’ll have to write. When you get married (another speech-worthy occasion), you can usually get away with a single story about you and your spouse, but your life together is just beginning and no one expects you to be profound. At retirement, the expectation is that you will be able to wax poetic about your experiences and give valuable advice to those still climbing the ladder. So, the pressure’s on, what are you going to say?

The first thing to decide is what kind of speech you intend to give? Are you a joker at heart, always jumping in with the snappy remark? Are you more introspective, considering what retirement will mean to you and your family? Or do have such a strong bond with your co-workers that a speech straight from the heart would be best?

The Humorous speech

Everyone loves a good laugh, so injecting humour into a retirement speech is always a good option.

There are lots of famous quotes and sayings that focus on the funny side of leaving a job. Obviously many of them come from those who have left a job they don’t like, so picking the right one can be tricky. Something like…

"The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does."

Once you’re past the opener, the best thing to do is break your speech down into sections – it will be easier to write and easier to remember. Possible sections to include are:

• The beginning of your career – funny trials and tribulations
• Getting hired with your current employer – impressions, expectations
• Office politics – keep it light and clean
• Environmental aspects of the office – think cubicle walls and fax machine from the movie Office Space (if you haven’t seen it, rent it)
• The road ahead – what the future holds

No one expects you to be a professional stand-up comedian, so don’t feel like every statement needs to get a laugh. This is a group of individuals who have shared your experiences and will get the joke. End your speech with some thank you’s for all those that brought smiles to your face – you hope you’ve done the same for them.

The Introspective speech

Feeling a little more introspective about retirement? Share it. Those not ready to retire yet view it with some trepidation. Will they be bored, will they have enough money, will they enjoy it? Hearing you talk about what work has meant to you and the fulfillment that you intend to get in retirement will hold their attention.

Things to include in your speech:

• Finding your career path – what choices did you make along the way
• Joining this company – what appealed to you, why did you choose them
• How work has impacted your life – both the company and the people
• What you intend to find in retirement – what is your plan

For this type of speech, ending with a quote is a good way to close. Something like…

"Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to."

Focus on how your life has been building to this point and what you will do in the days, months and years to come.

The Heartfelt speech

For those truly unique workplaces where life-long friendships were built, the heartfelt speech is the way to go. These people are more than co-workers, they have become family and when you retire the environment will be forever changed.

If you’re going to mention previous jobs, do so as comparisons to what you found with your current employer. Otherwise, focus your speech on the people that you met and worked with and how they changed your life. Call out individuals, tell stories and reflect on the experience. For this type of speech, write short phrases on paper to remind you of things you want to say, but speak without notes, from the heart.

Whatever speech you choose, take the time to frame it up and then practice it. Once you’re comfortable with the flow of your speech, leave it alone. Things will come to you in the moment and going with them will help you leave a lasting impression.